I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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