Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
