using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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