So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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