tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
