i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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