omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
