Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
