you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
