she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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