I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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