I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
