I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
