need another drink. this is the easiest way
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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