Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
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