theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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