ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
