id be glad to
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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