some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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