Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
