Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I look better un-naked...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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