I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
