I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
