Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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