Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
