you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
