I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
