So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
