Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
