Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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