Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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