This is not my ceiling
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
