So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
