Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
