Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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