vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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