there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
