she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
