I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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