Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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