At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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