Can Purell be used as lube?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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