You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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