So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
