They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
