The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
