Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
