It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize