i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
