I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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