i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
