Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i out mim tonsoeep
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