you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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