its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Randomize