I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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