after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
