dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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