in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
