He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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