brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize