I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
