Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize