Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also, beer. Big fan.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
