I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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