i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
