it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
