Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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