exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
